last week when i was spending precious time with my niece/cousin/we haven't really decided what she is to me, she told me, 'I have four talents... drawing, swimming, and climbing. I can't remember the fourth.'

she said it with so much conviction, with so much confidence, this little girl with a boundless insistence on self. she learned, early on, to say 'i just need some time alone.' i remember her telling me that very soon after she learned to talk. our family was downstairs being its enthusiastic, wandering subject, warm embracing self, and she.. just... needed... to be away.

i want to spend time with her, in those quiet moments and in her moments of conviction, to see her spirit grow.i want to let my own spirit soften, become more brave. i want to tick off my talents on my fingertips like she did with me... i want her to be proud of me.

children are so much closer to the deep, the divine. i celebrate her willingness to be quiet and her ability to become enraged. i watch her watch the geese settle into the pond behind my grandparents' house and i soften, her eyes exploring the world. i celebrate her, in all things, and try not to think of the day when the world will try to wield its lies of 'sit down, shut up, be pretty and you will be loved', aiming to shave away her inner power. i will hold on to these moments, remind her later, always celebrate these moments when i see the fire inside of her shine.